This Distraction’s blog

Mimosas at noon leave me hurting before dusk.

Is it just me or have the weeks been flying by? I had 2 weeks off work and just like that I'm back on the job playing RockBand every morning at 10am with the 9 year old. (What a bad job huh?!)

Every year I usually end up seeing 2 or 3 movies at the gay film festival. (Is it called the gay film festival or did I just make that up?)  Last night I saw by far the BEST, it was called XXY and was about this 15 year old girl in Argentina who was born with both parts...aka a hermaphrodite . The plot I guess was based around wether or not to get her thing cut off and live as a girl. IT was really touching and the girl was a fucking bad ass. I loved her character. The acting was superb and not once did I feel like I was reading subtitles. It was really amazing and I was raving about it all night like a dork.  The best part about watching a movie with nothing but gays is the reactions.  In one scene the main character crushed a beatle with her thumb, and you should have heard the squeals and "ewwws" roll through the ceiling.   It doesn't gross us out that we are watching a girl with a penis and vagina fuck a boy in the ass, but we sure freak out about a beatle getting crushed.  Just my observation.

I have 2 weeks off. Without even asking I got another vacation. Only this time I don't have the funds to actually go and do something. So here I am. 

Remember when I was sober for like 50 days? Feels like Forever ago.  WEll, the wine I had last night was so disgusting but I just kept on drinking it and I wish I hadn't.  The one thing I feel I gained out of that whole drying out period was I feel I can be in  control now. Except last night I sort of destroyed that idea and just kept drinking something that wasn't even satisfying. I'm trying to save money since Joey is moving out in a couple weeks and I thought buying a cheap 3.99 wine was a good idea. Wrong. But I drank it all anyways. 

I've been an on again off again mess and the last thing I've wanted to do was blog about it. Joey told me it's my return of Saturn...but I thought I already went through that ? Joyce thinks it's the weather.....she's probably right in some ways. It to me is a combo of lots of things. I think turning 29 and not having a 'back up plan' is in the back of my head every day and leaving me little room to really enjoy the moments I have.

So, My trip to Wisconsin went really well. I had a great time and was super sad to say goodbye to my family. Technically I am from 2 states, Illinois and Wisconsin. I usually only speak of my Illinois days because, well, because I was basically miserable in Wisconsin. But going back after SO many years left me feeling blessed and humbled and actually appreciative of where I came from.

They are gonna kill me for posting this but I just found it. This was the last time I was in L.A.  and holy hell I had no idea it was SO long ago.  Joyce's hair was super short. I remember Melissa and I were on a Kings of Leon kick (well, They are still my favorite band) and we kept singing "charmer" so that's why we squeal the way we do at the end of the video.  And also, We had a pitcher of margarita's in us at this point. I was SO excited to find a Wal Mart. The only time I have been in one since living in Illinois.  We were on our way to go swimming in the middle of the night. I really don't remember much after that except that I saw a big spider, I watched a little bit of an Amanda Bynes movie and I did NOT go swimming. 

Fuck my back is killing me again. I know I always complain about it BUT it always hurts. I am having a hard time moving without feeling nauseous. I better go to acupuncture before my big trip. Good thing I have some muscle relaxers too : )